Mother was my first country

My mother was my first country, the first place I ever lived – Nayyirah Waheed

When I was younger, my mum was not my favourite parent or even person. I never understood why she was so hard on me and of course, Papa was so fun.

There’s this thing about children and the parent/person that treats them the nicest face to face. But there’s something about maturity that values all that your parents do for you and are to you.

I don’t have a favourite parent anymore
(you are supposed to say that in public) but my Mum and I are the best of friends now. I grew up to see her as a person just like me, with fears and dreams, laughter and tears and faith as big as that mountain that everyone is always talking about.

We bring out the gist in each other, laugh together and pray together. Oh, we pray together. I caught the praying-mum bug early.

On this day years ago, you birthed your second born and just like that you are already a grandmother.

So here’s an invite to you, reading this, to tell me a story about a mother. It could be your mother, mine, someone that mothered you or God.

 

Overcomer

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NKJV

This verse has been ringing in my head like a word for this season. For a season of uncertainty and instability.

I have come to understand that there are times in our life when nothing makes sense. It’s not just one bad day or event. There’s no way to qualify it. Everyone else says that the morning of joy comes after the night of sorrow and the sun comes after the rain. But to you, it feels like you are in a game of ping pong and you are the ball. You should be grateful for the moments of joy and good news that you receive but they seem to be tainted just as quickly.

In this season, God is saying: I have overcome. Let’s drop in a bit of nerdiness right here. The English past participle ‘have overcome’ conveys the situation as something that has already happened and the action has ended. It is a done deal.

So that verse basically says for every trial that you will endure some time in the future. God HAS OVERCOME on your behalf. Darling, you already have the victory!

Interstice

They were an unfortunate existence,
These spaces between each finger,
The curves of their edges
That barely could catch anything.
And how poetic
That freedom slipped through my fingers.
The heavy air brushing
The tips of jagged digits.
Each slender jointed part
Had stood idly by as
Time had slipped by as noisily
As each tick of the second hand
Slowly time flew past
Things spiralled out of hand
I had it all in the palm of my hands once
But no more, now they are defeated
Stretched out in front of me.
The stance of a beggar’s prayer.
Pleading to receive.
Right pinky, left pinky joined.
The arch, a throbbing ache
Hands curved into cups
that would hold but little water.

The not-so-speechy comeback speech

It has been a wonderful summer …but all good things, as they say, must come to an end. And such a bitter-sweet end it is. There’s excitement and anticipation for the new academic year, and yet a part that refuses to let go of the freedom to choose goals for each day without interruption from a planned out one way learning front. Oh the horror!!

But all in all it hasn’t only been a summer break (as you might have noticed) but a blog break too. It has been a time of learning and unlearning, molding and remolding and so on. I wouldn’t say that it’s a new Ife but it may be, just maybe, an Ife that is aspiring-to-be-different.

That being said. Welcome once again to Ife’s Song

Watch Out

Listen.

Feedback.

Wounded in War

There was blood, actual blood
The trail followed behind her
And she got weaker with every drop
Yet she hurried to line up at the roll call
Shoulders square, head held as high
As every member of her platoon
She had learnt over time
That they were best covered up

These battle wounds she bore
There had been many visits to the army clinic
Many talks with the Physician
About the wounds of her comrades, never hers
So how could He help her?
When she withdrew each time
His hand reached out to help, to heal
Her own strength would see her through

She was mindful of her weakness
So she trained twice as hard.
Train, train, train, she will be stronger
Training would make her stronger
She tried not to think about the mission
And how she could not remember its purpose
Actually she remembered it
They chanted it every day at the morning drill
She remembered well, she just didn’t know
If she could do it anymore, alas her faith was lost
The world must not know, lest they judge

Her wounds were more than skin deep
She had been spent time and time again
For the sake of her mission and had found no time
To be renewed, refreshed, reminded.
Choosing to press on instead
On a strength that did not exist.
So one more time off to battle they marched
And one more time victory was theirs
But our soldier, she, we lost.

The Questions you ask…

You  ask me why I believe in a God I don’t see
I ask you why you don’t
So powerful that He is every where
Knows everything and hears every sound
If you could see Him ,touch Him
Would you be sitting in His lap or turning your back ?
If you could see the way that He is everywhere
Where would you run to ?

You ask me if God is Black or White or Brown
If He is feminist or sexist
I ask you why you don’t believe
that He created them all
Why His love for mankind has to be prejudiced.
Has hating people different in race, gender or opinion
Really brought you closer
To getting rid of the bitterness you carry?

You ask me does God hate gay people?
Does He hate sex?
I ask you why a Doctor would hate His patient
Does a father hate his children?
Would an inventor hate his invention
because it was misused and abused?
Would He hate the people
Who disregard His manual?

You ask me did God really say that ?
I ask you why you don’t believe
that every part of the bible is to be obeyed
Just because you can twist parts
of it to suit your will
doesn’t make it any less of God’s word.

You ask me why Christians are so narrow minded
I ask you if there really is a picture bigger than God .

Ifebeejay

These words…

I hear them everyday, these words.
To obey better. Positive words.
Words that tell me what to do,
What to think. What to say.
Anything contrary is unacceptable
Words that cage

I hear them everyday, these words
To be better. Positive words.
Words that make me want to change.
That float around in my head.
That tell me it will never be good enough.
Words that belittle

I hear them everyday, these words
To pretend better. Positive words.
Words that make me burn inside .
That sound a lot like the log in your eye
And nothing like the speck in mine.
Words of a hypocrite

I hear them everyday, these words.
To listen better. Positive words.
Words that tickle my ears
As I stare off at empty space.
Words I courteously tolerate
Words that are meaningless

I hear them everyday, these words
To do better. Positive words.
Make you life richer. Make it simple.
Keep busy. Have fun. Be unique. Try to fit in
Master your fake smile. Do it all.
Words that overwhelm

I hear them everyday, these words
To lie better. Positive words.
I love you .Am sorry. Am happy for you.
I miss you. Listen to me.
I want your opinion about …
Words that suffocate

I hear them everyday, these words
To speak better. Positive words.
I say them sometimes, actions hardly follow
Words. Letters. Whispers. Sounds. Secrets
I hear them everyday, I wish I didn’t
Never ending echo

Ifebeejay

I am

I am she who rose from the

Dust that was made from dust

I am she who came from he

He is one from me

Same spirit, different bodies

I am she who birthed transgression

The mother of a murderer

The very first

I am she that was deceived

Worldly wisdom, lies, sin.

But still, I am loyalty

Even to a strange land

Your people, my people

Your God , my God

I go where you go

I am strength

Judging with a meek heart

Leading a man to lead his army

Victory is the Lord’s

I am purity

The world needed a Saviour

I birthed righteousness

I watched Him die

He is Risen!

Yet I have been called

Victim ,Weakness, Manipulator,

‘the other woman’, Rebellion

Punching bag, Kitchen slave

That’s not me

I am wisdom , I am mother

I am purity , I am wife

I am strength , I am friend

I am precious , I am daughter

I am love, I am sister

I am faithfulness , I am worker

I am God’s signature, I am me

I am woman.

THE INVITATION

An invitation to breakfast came one day
From a friend who loves me.
Well I did not go because I hadn’t
Being loving him very much lately.
I had neglected to show my love for him
In the little ways I could.

An invitation to lunch came one day
From a friend with smile
as warm as the sun
Well I did not go because
I had been cold to him lately.
I had killed all the joy in joy in our friendship
ignored him,refused to talk to him
or read the letters he wrote me

An invitation to dinner came one day
From a friend that wants the best for me
I did not want to go because I did not always
Do what he asked me to
I always seemed to mess up his plans for me

But then all these invitations
touched something  in my heart
He loved me despite it all, love me he did.
Then I determined to love back.
Determined to leave the darkness
It wasn’t much at first but
the seed of love had been planted

An invitation to life came one day
From a good friend,
you know the one I speak of
Well, I couldn’t possibly refuse it
By now I love Him so much that
I could never dream of refusing.
So now me and my friend
we live to the perfect love story.
The Redeemer and the redeemed

You would never guess what He told me
He said He loves you
You see His love changed my life
So I sent an invitation to you too.

R.S.V.P: JESUS

If I say I Love You

If I say I love you
Does my love sound louder
Than a sounding brass or clanging cymbal?
Does my love move the mountains that
You face even a inch to the left?

If I say I love you
Can the waters quench it?
Can the floods drown it?
What does it take to kill it?
Persecution? Trials? Troubles? Riches?

If I say I love you
Is it a forever, lasting kind of love?
Am I being patient or just tolerating?
Do I hold a hand out to you when you fall?
Do I rejoice in truth or lean towards gossip?

If I say I love you
Do I hold a grudge against you,
For the thoughts I think you think?
Am I ready to let it all go
To heal? To forgive? To find peace?

If I say I love you
Am I ready to hear your side,
When our voices are raised in anger?
Am I blind to my faults,
When you show me a mirror?

If I say I love you
Can I bear the pain of loving
Hang for hours held up by rusted nails on wood?
Can I sacrifice anything, give anything,
And not seek for pity or praise?

If I say I love you, if I chose to love you
Let’s think beyond this ‘as myself’ business.
I chose to love like Love loves
Perfectly,ready to lay down His life for me
Bearing all things, hoping for the best in me